The Masked McNuggies
by SteveJobs-Kun
Summary: In a lonely town, crime has taken over. It's up to one cop and a vigilante to take a stand.


It was a dark night. All that stood was one cop, taking action against the corrupt citizens of Bikini Bottom. As the officer moved down the alley, he saw a tall man emerge from the shadows. He must have been ten feet tall, had a crazy red afro and looked like a juggalo. The officer feared for his life. He was now standing in front of his arch nemesis. He shouted "OMG IT'S BIG RED. I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE BACK IN O'CANADA. THAT'S WHY YOU DYED YOUR HAIR RIGHT? TO MATCH DEM MAPLE LEAVES?" The clown looked at the petrified cop. "No officer Patrick. I'm Ronald McDonald. All we share is our period red updo. She not even part of the Fast Food Mafia like I am. Now that my partner the Hambuttla is dead, I'll take out any authoritah that tries to mess with dis lil' punkass thug. I'll pop a cap in yo' ass, you big ol pink muthafuckah!" Ronald McDick took out his gun. "FUCK DA COPS!" he shouted. Just as he was about to pull the trigger-"DON'T SAY THAT! TRIGGERS ARE MY TRIGGER! POMAGRANT-TITS ARE TRIGGERING MUH FEELS!" The clown looked up. That screech could have come from no one else. It was from Bikini Bottom's vigilante who wanted to bring justice to the Fast Food Mafia. Why yes. It was none other than Grimace! The pimpest purple pile of whatever the fuck he is. He was here to bring justice to his ex boss the PMS juggalo. Before there was any time to react, Grimace had flung a pile of Big Macs in the enemy's direction. While this was happening, he swung down on a rope screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" and saved officer Patrick in the nick of time. They looked down at the criminal. He was knocked down by the sheer weight of the Big Macs. Patrick whipped out his cuffs. It was time to send this clown to jail. Just before any other cops showed up, Grimace whispered something into the juggalos ear. "I guess you couldn't handle my mcnuggies... Ronald-Kun..." Grimace then jumped into the air and vanished. "What a day.." officer Patrick thought to himself as he went home. As he walked in the door, he saw his wife sitting in the chair. "Where were you?" she asked. "You're later than usual." Patricked sighed. "It's been a rough day Puff. Could you fuck off?" he asked. "Well I could fuck off..." She said. "But I'd rather fuck on you!" Just as she took her bra off, she expanded like a balloon. She was now taking up half the size of the room. It had been like this since the accident. "Good night honey." said Patrick. He went straight to bed, just as usual.

**_THE NEXT DAY_**

Patrick got a call. There had been a masked cat on the loose. Patrick knew that he was going to have to use his "_PUSSY MAGNET_" to find him. He spotted a big purple thing by the lake. "Could it be grimace?" he thought. He went up to the masked stranger. The closer he got, the more he realized that it wasn't his friend. He soon saw two enormous ears, a fishing pole, a life saver belt and a white fuzzy chest covered in blood. The cat had a soulless look to him. He leaned his head to his shoulder. "Froggy... have you seen... Froggy... ?" Patrick looked confused. "Who the fuck is-" The cats appearance changed to a creepy smile. "no..?" he said. Big the cat then opened his mouth wide and let out a massive scream. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. FFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!?"

Patrick fell down from the sheer vibration of the screams. He felt weak. He realized that big's screams were draining his power. Big grew even more fat. He was now super fatassafrass sized. "If you don't know where froggy is..." he said. "Then you'll just be his bait!" Big stuck the fishing hook through the cops face. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" he screamed. Patrick now had a nose hole. Big lowered his bait into the fishing hole. Patrick screamed for help. He saw man eating piranhas' and sharks in the pool of water. "How the fuck does that even happen?" he thought. Everyone knew that Big was retarded, but this was a new level of stupidity. He would never catch froggy like this. Suddenly he heard a voice from the rooftops. Grimace yelled "SWIPER NO SWIPING!" and landed on the fat pussy. The weight of Grimace's Mcnuggies alone was heavy enough to crush his back. It wasn't over though. Big the cat threw his life saver at the vigilante and tried to outrun him. It was no use though. Grimace had a backup plan. He pulled out a Dreamcast. As he rushed to the criminal, he threw out a copy of Sonic Adventure and sliced off Big's leg. As Big screamed, Grimace pushed the open button. As the lid lifted, a mysterious orange light glowed. Grimace began to shout "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" and the light soon dragged Big into a vortex. As he was being sucked into the Dreamcast he shouted "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME GAGET!" and vanished. He now found peace along with Froggy, in another dimension.

**_DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY -24 HOURS REMAIN- _**

**_NOT REALLY THOUGH_**

Patrick was once again roamin' Bikini Bottoms bottom feeder streets, seeking a chance to bring justice. He saw two men in the depths of an alley. One was a fat midget and the other was a tall, lanky thug. The later one pulled out his tennis racket. He lout out a loud high pitched "WA-AAAAA-AAAHHHHHH!" and started swinging tennis balls in his direction. Suddenly there was a bright flash of light along with a young girl who looked like coconut head. It was none other than Mako. She looked at Patrick. "DAMN RYUKO! YOU GOT ALL PINK AND FAT. YOU'LL NEVER BE PART OF THE PINKEST CLUB LOOKIN LIKE THAT!" She then screamed "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO RYUKO! THIS IS ILLEGAL! I'M TELLIN ON YOU! BIATCH!" Waluigi scoffed at her. 'No no stars tell the leader of the tennis club what to do!" He shot a tennis ball straight at her head, knocking her unconscious. Patrick had no idea what was happening in town anymore or why shit made no sense. As Purple Mario was about to shoot another round of balls out, someone stepped in front of the cop. It was none other than Grimace. He winked at Patrick and said "Don't worry pal. Taking in balls is my speciality." Purple Luigi laughed. "Nice try but those balls are made of glass. They will smash in your face!" More and more balls went in to Grimace's body. "It's just like my Japanese animes." Said Patrick. In a flash, Grimace shot them out off his fat folds and sent them flying to purple Wario. Grimace must have been so soft that the balls didn't break. It was over for one of them at least. Purple WEE-GEE was horribly disfigured from the glass and was losing blood fast. He lie next to his brother, telling his final words. "Brotha. I a used da blue shell back-a when we were-a kartracin' with OsamaMnightshamalamasama Tin Lama. That's a why he is a so a angry at the a U.S. I had a thing with a Obama and he a just a couldn't a handle it a you know?" Wario shook his head. 'I've-a known-a along my bro." Waluigi gave one last glance at his big bro. "There's-a one a last a thing-a I need to tell you a yellow Mario. I'm-a you're a father!" It was over. Purple Mario was dead. Wario let out a cry "**NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ****WUUUUUUUUUUUU-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!**" Yellow Luigi knew that there was no going back this time. He hoped on his motorcycle and ran over Grimace. He opened his mouth wide and bit into his flesh. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY MCNUGGIES!" he screamed. Patrick knew that he had to do something. He took Waluigi's racket and beat yellow waluigi over the head. He just kept hitting him over and over and over until he stopped biting. That was it. Yellow Wario was dead.

**1 SECOND LATER **

"Grimace.. thank you for all your help.." said Patrick. "I know how you can thank me.." said the vigilante. He leaned over and gave Patrick a deep kiss. "You know you want my mcnuggies Patrick-kun..." Patrick said "My wumbo is hardening.." He kept kissing his masked hero. Grimace said "Do you want a taste of muh .. Purple Drank...?" Patrick sighed "I do but... I'm married to Ms. Puff... and now I'm going to have to arrest you..." Grimace looked confused. "Why Patrick? I've done nothing but help!" Patrick looked up at his face. "I know.." he said "But you've stolen my heart!" Patrick then shot Grimmace. It was over. No one could handle his Mcnuggies.


End file.
